Romantic Relationships

They Provide a Different Purpose
than We Think

Romantic Relationships are an interesting part of the human dynamic. There are many different types of relationships, but the one most people seem to want above all others, is the romantic kind. It may be because we have an instinctual knowing that we are all one and a Romantic Relationship is the closest we can physically come to experiencing that kind of closeness and intimacy in our human form. However, troubles can arise when our experience doesn't follow Our Preconceived Ideas of how it's supposed to be.

We seek Romantic Relationships because we are "looking for love". We want to love another, but mostly we want somebody to love us. Seeking love through any union is one of the greatest blunders of our time! Because in reality, you can only experience love when You love. We think that when our partner loves us we will find happiness, but it can only be found through loving. First you must love yourself and then you can truly love another. How someone else feels about you doesn't have the power to change your state of being.

The real purpose in every Romantic Relationship is your own growth. Once the “Honeymoon” phase is over and both parties start being themselves, their partner can then become the scapegoat for unhappiness. This is where the disillusionment begins, because our expectation of what your partner is going to do for you isn't being realized.

Try not to get discouraged because this part is actually the "Good Stuff". Once you consciously understand the purpose behind these Relationships, they will mirror back the issues you need to look at within yourself. All relationships are designed for this purpose, but Romantic Relationships cut to the heart of the issues because of their increased intimacy and attachment.

If you “Hate” something about another person, it is a good indicator that there is something similar in you that could use some examination. Once you can see it in yourself, you are then able to work on it. The Ego will do its job by distracting you from this awareness by convincing you that these issues lie within your partner, but don’t be fooled. What you "Hate" it in them, is certainly an undiscovered issue within you that is cleverly projected onto your partner.

Once you understand the true purpose of Romantic Relationships, they can become a great resource for your personal growth! Even so called destructive relationships can reform into positive ones by redefining the expectations through understanding the true objective.

Both of my marriages have provided me tremendous opportunities for Personal Growth, yet the types of growth were different. My first marriage helped me see who I wasn’t and my current marriage has helped me to uncover who I am. In addition, my current relationship has been the most challenging I have ever been in, but it has also been the most rewarding because of the deep inner work that has been addressed. The similarities between the two of us, bring out the core issues that need to be faced, and as a result it has helped me transcend many of them. Until we expose these deep seeded issues to the light of consciousness, they will block the Awakening Process and the peace and hapiness that accompanies it.

"One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple does not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough."
Gay Hendricks

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