Family Relationships are Important, Divinely Orchestrated,
Emotionally Charged, and Filled with Prejudice
Family Relationships can be a touchy subject to talk about because we are emotionally charged, attached, and socially conditioned to how those relationships should be. Feelings of loyalty and obligation can stand in the way of authenticity. These life-long relationships have much to teach us and yet some of us have a difficult time hearing the truth they have to offer.
Family relationships are unique in that they continue to exist even if we don't see one another. These spiritually contracted and divinely orchestrated relationships remain connected to us throughout our lifetime and are typically some of the most impactful and significant relationships we will tend to have.
The family each of us are born into, is divinely PERFECT for our Spiritual Growth and Conscious Development. All of life is designed to give you exactly what you need to become self aware and conscious of reality. This includes our family relationships that our pivotal in understanding human behavior and development.
At first glance it might be hard to understand how certain painful Family Relationships and experiences are perfect for us, but as you continue to Awaken, all of those meanings will come clear to you.
As my Awakening Process began, the dynamic of my Family Relationships changed as consciousness increased and changed my perception of them. This change in my perception was accompanied by the introduction to Taylor Hartman's book about Personality types called "The Color Code". Taylor Hartman's book is very helpful in understanding our stylized differences that go hand in hand with our personality types.
Follow this link www.colorcode.com to see Taylor Hartman's website.
At first, I struggled with the emerging awareness that showed me the dysfunction and insanity of these relationships. The problem was I didn't have the understanding yet to accompany the reality I was seeing. As a result, this added more pain to my experience which increased my anger and frustration. Unfortunately, this led to further dysfunction and separation from many of my family members as I projected my pain onto them in the form of criticism, judgment and by blaming them for my struggles in life.
After I began to understand the actual reality and purpose behind my family relationships, my perception of them started to change. I realized that everyone was doing the best they could, and if they really understood the consequences of their choices they would most likely choose another way. Byron Katie often says, "When we know better, we do better." In addition, everything they did was perfect for their growth and mine.
The painful experiences I had because of what I believed about my family, gave me the "Mud" that I needed to grow through. When we have pain or difficulty, the only real and lasting way to heal from it is to realize that what we believe about our families simply isn't true. Forgiveness is to realize that the other person has not done anything to you. If you are angry and blaming another, you are projecting onto them what you don't want to admit about yourself. Going through this "Mud" or in other words, difficult or painful situations, make me stronger after I healed from the associated pain. How we heal the pain is by transcended the thoughts and illusions we have about the situation.
Our misguided illusions about Family Relationships are created by thoughts like;
They don't love me.
They shouldn't hurt me.
They should support me.
They should understand me.
Family members should be loyal. Etc.
The actual reality is;
They do love me.
They shouldn't support me, if they don't.
They shouldn't understand or appreciate me, if they don't.
They shouldn't be loyal, if they're not.
And; When we feel hurt and are in pain (emotional or physical), we attack each other all the time.
If you can let yourself see any truth in these statements, then you might be able to see that it is arrogant, naive, and misguided to believe the original thoughts. These untrue thoughts are not anyone's fault, they are simply a byproduct of values set by social conditioning that hasn't evolved past the desires of the ego.
Follow your Spiritual Path even if it means the family relationships dissolve. This doesn't mean you stop loving them, nor does it mean you stop having interaction with them. It simply means you need to follow your own path and you may find that you may no longer need their agreement, approval, or involvement.
Family members tend to have a hard time embracing the changes you are going through because of the history you have with them. In their eyes, you will always be the person they thought you were. If you seem to change too much, they may think they need to help you, since you're not being yourself (after all, they are your family). If you are clear you wont let their opinions bother you or change your direction, if what they said doesn't ring true for you. In time, you may even be able to thank them because you know whatever they say to you comes from a loving place, even if it doesn't coincide with your own understandings.
As I first awakened, the shocking reality of some of my relationships caused me to vent out my anger and frustrations towards certain family members, and it may have damaged some of those relationships beyond repair. I have tried to make amends wherever possible, however, it is also up to the other individual involved if they wish to see the truth of the situation and move forward with the relationship. You may have to be willing to accept whatever they can give. However, the relationship is healed because you are clear about it.
After that, all I can do is continue to move forward on my own path. What I know for sure is that;
I love all of them, and feel extremely blessed to have them in my life!
To see more information on all four personality types go to our Personalities web page.
"A person needs at intervals to separate from family and companions and go to new places. One must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change."
Katharine Butler Hathaway
Return to Relationships page from Family Relationships
"Gloria in excelsis Deo"